I feel the need to get this off my chest.
Honesty Hour. I didnt know how to tell people this face to face but a few weeks ago my friends were talking about signing up for the nike run. yea i hate this period of the year tbh. In the past it was because i never liked to run behind people. Yea i've always been a rather competitive runner and thus i know i will never be the first few in such a big run so yea i'll pass. But now i grown out of that thought. I actually dont know when this started but it was definitely quite some time ago. I always had this issue of low blood sugar in my body so whenever i run or vigorously exercise i, to be in simple terms, fall sick. Okay a brief elaboration of what happens to me when this acts up. Simply it would start with giddyness which makes me know that the rest is coming my way. Then i start to break out in cold sweat, my face turn pale, i start to shiver, breathe too quickly and if it continues on, then i start to lose my strength in my legs that i cant walk and i would start to lose vision from one eye, usually the left...
Yea that sucks...big time. In my JC days, is still alright as i could simply eating or drink something before the start of PE lesson and i'll be fine till the end of PE. But now it got really worse. A few months ago, i went for a run about 1 hour after my lunch and i totally had to crawl back home after like 2k? I had to walk a couple of steps and sit down for like 10 mins before continuing a couple more steps and all the way back home. That incident scarred me so badly that i haven't ran in months. I didnt want to go to the doctor's...i guess a part of me doesnt want to know whats going on with me. But i really miss running. The feeling of the wind in your face, the satisfaction when you got a nice timing, the after-run pant that felt super good and definitely the feeling of being the first felt awesome. But i guess those glory days are over. Im glad i have a couple of medals to remind me but i really wished i could feel like that again. Maybe i am already feeling better but i just dont dare to try and tbh i find it extremely embarrassing to be all geared up and you stop after like 2k... Yea so sighs...but i still wont admit that im slower than them now because i was not. Even if i am now, it wouldnt be a fair judgement eh.
Glad i finally got this off my chest.
11:17 PM