I feel the need to get this off my chest.

Honesty Hour. I didnt know how to tell people this face to face but a few weeks ago my friends were talking about signing up for the nike run. yea i hate this period of the year tbh. In the past it was because i never liked to run behind people. Yea i've always been a rather competitive runner and thus i know i will never be the first few in such a big run so yea i'll pass. But now i grown out of that thought. I actually dont know when this started but it was definitely quite some time ago. I always had this issue of low blood sugar in my body so whenever i run or vigorously exercise i, to be in simple terms, fall sick. Okay a brief elaboration of what happens to me when this acts up. Simply it would start with giddyness which makes me know that the rest is coming my way. Then i start to break out in cold sweat, my face turn pale, i start to shiver, breathe too quickly and if it continues on, then i start to lose my strength in my legs that i cant walk and i would start to lose vision from one eye, usually the left...
Yea that sucks...big time. In my JC days, is still alright as i could simply eating or drink something before the start of  PE lesson and i'll be fine till the end of PE. But now it got really worse. A few months ago, i went for a run about 1 hour after my lunch and i totally had to crawl back home after like 2k? I had to walk a couple of steps and sit down for like 10 mins before continuing a couple more steps and all the way back home. That incident scarred me so badly that i haven't ran in months. I didnt want to go to the doctor's...i guess a part of me doesnt want to know whats going on with me. But i really miss running. The feeling of the wind in your face, the satisfaction when you got a nice timing, the after-run pant that felt super good and definitely the feeling of being the first felt awesome. But i guess those glory days are over. Im glad i have a couple of medals to remind me but i really wished i could feel like that again. Maybe i am already feeling better but i just dont dare to try and tbh i find it extremely embarrassing to be all geared up and you stop after like 2k... Yea so sighs...but i still wont admit that im slower than them now because i was not. Even if i am now, it wouldnt be a fair judgement eh.

Glad i finally got this off my chest.

11:17 PM

Well my JC journey is now completed behind and this is the moment to reminisce. But for now it's work work work. I feel like I fit in better at work...like I was always meant to do this other than study. I really have to say I've been getting good reviews at most/all of my workplace. I actually had had this thought that I wanted to take a gap year off Uni...and just work and get some experience before deciding what to do. But due to parent's strong rejection, the idea was dropped. It's kinda sad that at this point in my life, I have 2 things that I can't do them my way. 1) I have to follow the traditional way and is not allowed to take gap years as its 'wasting' a year...
2) Im have to choose a course that gets me some where in life and not the course I desire. People around me mostly know that I want to teach. But I've always had this strong passion for design. I guess it's somewhat in my blood haha. But apparently, Singaporean parents are always like that...they want their kids to have a bright future. That ironically sucks. So I didn't apply for sutd or any design related courses...and at the age of 19 I have alr had a lifelong regret.

And I am so sick and tired of people thinking JC kids are like damn smart and high above. Thought this shit will end in the workforce but no! Peeps are still having the thought that jc kids are like damn clever. That is so not true...and peeps from ite are not dumb or slow so please stop this social segregation. It's so stupid. Everyone has different talents and learning capabilities...so many person x gets an A and person Y failed at a particular subject...does that even mean that X is smarter than Y? No! It only meant 2 things! Either Y did not try hard or Y is more cut out for other aspects. So for those arrogant jc kids, shame on you. For the rest that holds this segregation, a man's education does not determine his or her level of intellect or capabilities.

And lastly, I am a super straight Singapore girl but I support gay marriage. Love is love you just can't change who they want and choose to be. Yes it may seem a little strange at first since this was not the way we were born and taught. But hey...its just needs a little adapting. Following in Miley Cyrus footsteps #NOH8.

Nights peeps

1:38 AM